Church Service (In The Near Future)

PASTOR: Praise the Lord.


PASTOR: Can we please turn our Tablet PC, iPad, Cellphone, Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13….! And please switch on your Bluetooth todownload the sermon…. !

PASTOR: Let us pray committing this week into God’s hands. Open your WhatsApp, BBM,Twitter and Facebook and chat with your God. Come on…

PASTOR: Please have your credit and debit cards ready as we shall now take tithes and offerings. You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password Lord909887.

[Ushers circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers]. Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church and those who prefer to use iPads allowed to flip them open. Those who prefer mobile banking are allowed to take out their cellphones to transfer their contributions to the church bank account! The holy atmosphere is truly electric as cellphones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!

SECRETARY: This week’s cell meetings shall be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please don’t miss out. Thursday’s bible teachings will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don’t miss out. You can follow Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counselling and prayers. GOD bless you all.

Rose And Jack

• Rose: I love you, Jack.

• Jack: Don’t you do that, don’t say your goodbyes.

• Rose: I’m so cold.

• Jack: Listen, Rose. You’re gonna get out of here, you’re gonna go on and make lots of babies, and you’re gonna watch them grow. You’re gonna die an old.. an old lady warm in her bed, but not here, not this night. Not like this, do you understand me?

• Rose: I can’t feel my body.

• Jack: Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me.. it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor, Rose. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.

• Rose: I promise.

• Jack: Never let go.

• Rose: I’ll never let go. I’ll never let go, Jack.

Do you remember this Movie?

A Conversation Between A Dying Father (October) And His Son (November)

Oct: My son I’m tired.

Nov: Why?

Oct: My time is up, I will be goingto join your fore fathers.

Nov: I know, your time is over… I will miss you Dad.

Oct: Let me tell you some things before I go.

Nov: What is it Dad?

Oct: Please when I go, make sure you take care of this person.

Nov: Who?

Oct: The person READING this conversation of ours.

Nov: Okay.

Oct: I made some promisesto this person during my reign, I fulfilled some, and some I couldn’t.

Nov: But why couldn’t you fulfill alldad?

Oct: Well, my son time and human factors affected some of the promises….

Nov: But…

Oct: But surely, I spoke with God on this person’s behalf, and God granted my wish that you may fulfill the rest promises that I couldn’t. So these are the rest of the fulfillment you will carry out on this person.

Nov: Go on dad.

Oct: Stabilize this person’s health all through your reign, there shall be no sickness! Open a direct link between God and this person.

Nov: Done, carry on Dad.

Oct: Ensure that this person’s dreams come to reality within the shortest period of time.

Nov: Alright.

Oct: Give this person wealth that will touch lives of multitudes.

Nov: Surely.

Oct: Make sure that you remove all remaining hindrances to success from this person’s way and make the year a huge success.

Nov: I will dad, no problem!

Oct: Pay more emphasis on the advice of this person’s friends, don’t worry about that person’s enemies, God will take
God will take care of that! Get it?

Nov: Yes

Oct: Finally, promise me that when your own time is up, you will instruct this to your off spring after off spring (The others) to keep positive fulfillment of this person going!

Nov: Yes dad, may God help me!

Oct: Now I can pass to the beyond happily! May you be prosperous!!!